Joe, at 13, was well up on romance, and wondered fleetingly how his father of all people had managed to fall in love with out him finding out. But then he had another thought. He had seen Adam walk away from the church toward that little clump of trees with Sally Banes last Sunday. Was it Adam who was getting married, and Pa was breaking it to them? He stole a glance at his oldest brother. Adam's expression was controlled ( as always, Joe thought exasperatedly) but he caught a hint of confusion as well. Shrugging, Joe turned back to Ben and waited for an explanation.

19 year-old Hoss's first thoughts were of how nice it would be for Joe to finally have a mother, that way he and Adam could quit taking over that role. But he was puzzled, surely Ben would give them more warning! But, then again, if Pa had fallen in love, Hoss was downright happy for him.

Adam quickly dismissed the thought that Pa was getting married. Even though he had been very young, he remembered well how his father had acted before he had married Marie. Besides, Ben had kept close to the Ponderosa for weeks, and that left no time for courting. He caught Joe's scrutiny and froze into his customary expression. He imagined what Joe was thinking and almost grinned at the thought. At 25, he was the only one old enough to consider marriage, but he could set Joe's speculation to rest. He turned to Pa, deciding the silence had gone on long enough.

"What do you mean, Pa?"

Ben's smile was sad, "I picked up a letter in town yesterday from Anna Cartwright."

Joe piped up, "Who's that, Pa?"

"Your cousin, Little Joe. My brother's daughter. Apparently both my brother and his wife died in an epidemic that swept through their community about a month ago. She wants to know if we could take her in."

The boys looked down at their plates. They had never heard Ben talk about a brother, but each was wondering how they would feel if they found out that one of their brothers had died.

Hoss looked up, "When's she gettin' here, Pa?"

"I replied with a telegram, she'll send word when she sets out. It should be about three weeks. It takes two weeks to get out here, and we'll have to allow for sometime for her to get everything settled at home."

"Now, Pa, "Adam said suddenly, "You said a woman, just how old is she?"

"20," Ben replied.

Adam frowned slightly, a 20 year-old Eastern girl would be a handful and a half to try and keep occupied while carrying on work at the Ponderosa. Although he looked forward to talking with her, he foresaw that having Anna Cartwright on the Ponderosa would change their lives.

That evening, while Ben and Adam relaxed after dinner, Ben with his favorite book, and Adam gently strumming on his guitar, Joe and Hoss slipped outside.

"Well, Short Shanks," Hoss began as they walked away from the house," What do you think about having a sister around here?"

Joe scowled. " She'll spoil all our fun!" he muttered.

"Whaddya' mean, Joe?" Hoss asked, surprised that his younger brother would take such an instant dislike to the idea.

"Well, you remember when ladies stay here, we can't have any fun anymore! No wrestling, too violent in front of the ladies! Don't dare take your shirt off to work, there's a lady present!" Joe's mimicry of Ben made Hoss laugh.

"Come on now, Joe, this'll be different! She'll be family, not company! Nothin's gonna change that much!"

"Maybe, maybe not." A voice behind them made them both jump. Adam stood a few feet away, grinning at the guilty looks they wore.

"Now, Adam, " Hoss reasoned, wondering how he always got saddled with the role of peacemaker, " surely you don't think that this Anna's gonna' be trouble!"

"I don't think, I know!" Adam declared, " Remember, Hoss, I've been back East. The girls are all delicate, they faint if you scratch your hand and it bleeds! The hardest work they have to do is lifting a teacup or a heavy book of poetry!" Adam's voice was full of sarcasm, "They aren't cut out to live out here, especially one who has been brought up in that kind of life for 20 years."

Hoss looked at his brothers in confusion, " Well, this sure is a surprise! I figured you'd be happy about it! Adam, you'll have someone around who likes all that literature, " he stumbled over the word, " and such. Joe, you'll have someone you can talk to about what you should say to them pretty girls at school. I figure a classy Eastern girl will have some right good ideas for ya'!"

Adam and Joe looked at each other, then back at Hoss, skepticism still written on their faces, then Adam sighed, "Well, I'm not saying I'm against her coming, I'm just saying that Eastern girls don't have a clue what life is like out here. It's just going to be different."

"Yeah, no fun!" Joe said darkly, folding his arms over the fence angrily.

Adam raised his eyebrow and cocked his head, " I don't think she'll spoil much of your fun, Joe. She'll probably want to hide in her room after watching a few of your escapades."

"Yeah," Little Joe said again, furrowing his brow even more.

Adam turned to Hoss, "I imagine you're not too keen on her coming either."

Hoss ducked his head, " I jest cain't talk to girls, 'specially some fancy Eastern girl."

Adam indicated his agreement with another raise of his eyebrow, then turned to include both his brothers in his gaze, "Now don't either of you say anything to Pa about not wanting her to come! No reason to get ourselves in for a lecture."

Joe and Hoss nodded, then they turned back to the house. Joe trailed behind a little, a mischievous light in his eyes. Adam didn't realize what a good idea he had given him. It wouldn't hurt to show Miss Anna Cartwright just how wild the West really was!

***********************

Adam laced his fingers behind his head as he lay in bed that night. It wasn't like him to take an instant prejudice against a person, so he was trying to sort through his mixed reactions and be fair about it.

On the one hand, there was no denying that the Ponderosa could use a little feminine touch. Joe needed a woman's gentling influence before his almost annoyingly good looks got him into hot water. Adam gave a caustic smirk, when it came to charm and looks, his 13 year-old brother was already beating him. He rolled his eyes and returned to his original train of thought. Having a woman around all the time also might ease some of Hoss's shyness, undoubtedly a good thing. And yes, Adam would enjoy have someone around who appreciated finer things.

But-Adam gave a sigh- a 20 year-old girl raised in the East was not the right person for that job. For one thing, every man for miles would be hanging over her the second she stepped out of the house. And any girl that age who wasn't married or seriously attached to someone-as Anna's willingness to move West indicated- would more than likely be encouraging the attention. Then the main reason was that a young woman brought up in a sheltered, cultured life, could feel only revulsion and fear of the violent atmosphere of the untamed territory.

With a frustrated growl, Adam flopped on his side and stared out his window. The moon bathed the ranch buildings and vast expanse of land beyond. He relaxed, a person would be a fool indeed who found fault with the Ponderosa.

Hoss was troubled. Sleep usually came easily for him, but tonight he tossed and turned restlessly. While he didn't share Joe's concern over spoiled fun, Adam's assurances of the changes that would take place bothered him. The idea of a lovely, delicate young lady coming to live with them scared him to death. While Adam had the polish to deal with sophisticated ladies, and Joe's charming looks and personality ensured that he would make a good impression, Hoss had no qualities to recommend him to a person like her. He may have played her advocate, but he dreaded her arrival.

Joe was brainstorming in his room. He didn't want to hurt his cousin, but he needed some tricks to show her who was boss. He wanted to let her know that she didn't have any authority to make changes in his pattern of life. He gnawed on his lip, there was always the old trick of frogs in her bed. A little salt in her water at mealtime, although that would never get past without a tanning. Hmm, IF the tenderfoot could ride, a burr under her saddle was sure to make a point. Smothering a yawn, he decided that he had a good start, and settled down to sleep.

The next few weeks gave Joe plenty of opportunities to plan. He knew his only ally would be Hoss, Adam would never agree to play tricks on a woman. He wasn't sure of Hoss's approval, but had little doubt of his cooperation.

The telegram from Anna finally arrived, with the date of her arrival not far behind. The Cartwrights hitched up the surrey, and with Hoss and Little Joe riding their horses, headed for town.

Adam kept a stern eye on Joe on the way into town. It had taken a command from Adam, reasoning from Hoss, and finally, an ultimatum from Ben to get Joe in the tub the night before, and Adam was taking no chances of his little brother getting dirty before the stage came in.

Joe felt the steely gaze, and deliberately fell behind so he was riding in the dust Chubb kicked up. Adam tightened his lips, that boy...... He began to say something, but Hoss had slowed down and was talking to Joe.

In town, Ben kept a gentle, but restraining hand on Joe's shoulder, he had seen what Joe had done, though he hadn't reacted. Adam gave an almost inaudible sigh of relief when he saw Ben lead him away from his brothers and lean over to talk to him, a stern expression on his face. Adam turned away, he knew how touchy Joe was about his brothers seeing him get lectured, but Ben straightened up quickly as the coach rolled into town. Almost unconsciously, he checked everyone's appearance. Joe's emerald green new shirt was none the worse for his little dust bath, Adam noted thankfully. Hoss was pulling anxiously at the collar of his crisp white shirt, but he looked at home in his usual vest and pants. Adam gave a proud smile when he looked at Ben. He was wearing what he always wore, but somehow he managed to dignify it for the occasion. Joe was the only one with new clothes, Adam was wearing his white shirt and black vest, but that was because Joe was so hard on his clothes that there was nothing fit for him to wear.

The stage coach's door opened, and a man jumped out, then turned to assist the other occupant of the coach, Anna Cartwright.

The first sight of the girl knocked them all silent. They weren't sure what they were expecting, but she wasn't it. Her reddish brown hair brushed her shoulders, indicating that she had been ill along with her parents. She wasn't petite by any stretch, but she wasn't overweight, just tall and big-boned. But it was her face that captured their attention. It sported a light tan from her travels, which complemented the strong chin and nose. Her eyes were deepest brown, betraying her emotions, which at the moment were shyness and relief that her journey was over. They made her rather plain face beautiful.

She was wearing a rather rumpled forest green traveling suit, but it was well made and seemed very elegant to Hoss and Joe. Adam groaned inwardly when he saw it. Never mind that she looked like she was cut out to live here, if that was her traveling suit, what did the rest of her wardrobe look like?

Ben broke the embarrassing silence, "Anna?" at her somewhat timid nod, he smiled warmly, "I'm your Uncle Ben, welcome to Nevada!"

************************

Anna stared out past the horses' ears and on to the land they were traveling through. She was enthralled with the untamed beauty of it all. Little Joe's horse exploded into her vision as he raced ahead. She smiled, Joe reminded her achingly of her younger brother Tom. He was several years older than Joe-was, she told herself sharply, bringing the pain to the surface once again. She straightened her spine, and forced herself to concentrate on the beautiful markings on Joe's pony. If Joe was anything like her brother, she could expect trouble from him once they got the ranch. The anticipation of the battle actually pleased her, she could hold her own against four younger siblings, and managed to become a favorite with them, maybe she and Joe could be friends.

She sidled her gaze to Hoss, who rode his horse on the opposite side of the buggy. He was probably in league with Joe, even though he looked like a charming gentle giant. She remembered how often she had gotten drawn into the middle of her younger sibling's schemes, unwillingly though it may have been. Even before she ran the gauntlet of tricks, she figured she could make friends with Hoss.

Her eyes shifted back a little without turning her head, another trick she had learned from Tom, and she regarded Adam who rode in the back seat. He would be the hard one to befriend. Although he was the perfect gentleman and gave no sign that he was anything other than pleased that she had come, she knew the cool look in his eyes. She had seen it before, in the faces of her neighbors and relatives when she had humbled her pride and asked if someone could take her in after the two youngest boys had been adopted by her mother's brother. It was clear that Adam saw no use for a woman on the Ponderosa, and while he would be the perfect host, until she managed to win his approval, she would never feel truly at home.

Adam was watching Joe gallop ahead, wincing at the dust cloud he raised. Those new clothes would be filthy when he got home. He stifled the urge to sigh, they still had to get through supper that evening. He had a feeling he'd end up being Anna's protector, from Little Joe, if nothing else. He knew from personal experience what that gleam in his younger brother's eyes meant. Anna's food or drink would have some extra flavor to it tonight, Adam surmised, wondering how she would react. He would never play the tricks himself, and would attempt to foil any that he found out about, but he couldn't help but feel interested about how she would respond. There was something unsettling about the candid scrutiny of those brown eyes, he had felt it as soon as she looked at him. Anna was no ordinary woman.

********************************

Anna looked disgustedly at her reflection in the mirror. She was dusty and her naturally curly hair had been reduced to a heavy mat of knots and frizzing. Hop Sing had brought a basin of warm water for her to wash up, and informed her that the pitcher was full of cool water if she need it. She gave a quick smile, what an impression to make on her new family. She had long since learned that if she could laugh at herself, then things were never as dark as they appeared. Speaking of impressions, her thought chain quickly switched, what an impression this house had made on her. She hadn't been sure what to expect, but never in her wildest dreams had she imagined such a fine house. And her room! It was beautiful! But she left off staring around to return her attention to the mirror. With a groan, she took out her hairbrush and started in on those knots. When she was done, her hair was completely tangle-free, but had fluffed up in a most annoying and unbecoming way. She put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath. She wasn't given to outbursts of temper, especially over something as trivial as her hair, but the day had been stressful. After a moment, she decided to leave her hair for the moment and wash up a bit. The water, first the warm and then the cool, relaxed her. She turned to her trunk, wondering what to wear for dinner. She pursed her lips, examining her wardrobe. She wanted to make up for the way she had looked when she had met them, but she didn't want to wear something formal and put a damper on the family meal. She picked up a green dress, but remembered that her traveling suit was green, so laid it aside. Her pale blue dress? No, she hated the color, but it had been her mother's favorite, so she had worn it. Finally, she found it. Her very favorite dress, prized for its comfort as well as style, it was a deep, wine-red with ecru lace on the slightly scooped neckline and the sleeves. It was not a formal gown, but when she wore it, it gave a regal air. She hurried into it, and turned to the mirror. A slight frown creased her brow as she saw her hair, then, with a sigh, she dipped her hand in the basin of water and ran it through her hair. When it was damp, and the frizz was replaced by the natural ringlets, she was faced with another dilemma. While she could put her hair up, it required a great deal of pinning and sent her into a black mood in the process. She didn't want to leave it completely down, however, so what was she to do? She smiled suddenly, she knew just what to do to make the impression she wanted on her uncle and cousins.

Ben had finished his interrupted talk with Joe, and sent him upstairs to change into a clean shirt since his new one was coated in dirt. He sighed, this was hardly the way to greet Anna into the family, Joe acting up, Hoss barely uttering a syllable, and Adam so distant. He was surprised at his oldest son's behavior. Adam was the one he had depended on being friendly to Anna, the one he had planned to get Anna comfortable on the Ponderosa. But Adam, while far from being impolite, had made no move to strike up a conversation with his cousin, or even make polite small talk on the way back from town. Ben hadn't necessarily felt tension in the silence, but he was confused. He wanted to talk to Adam about it, but Adam had gone directly to his room after helping Hoss unharness the team and put the buggy away, and the melancholy strains of guitar music that came from the room as Ben passed told him that Adam was not in the mood for conversation.

Adam let his fingers strum the guitar without paying much attention to what he was doing. It was time for him to face up to the real reason behind his behavior to Anna. He had known it was back there, but refused to acknowledge it, chalking it up to worry about a woman's inexperience. But he hadn't been prepared for the absolute paranoia that struck him when he saw his cousin. He was afraid of losing another family member. He jumped as his fingers hit a discord, then he set the guitar down and buried his face in his hands. That was the real reason he didn't want Anna there. Every woman that had become a part of his family, a part of his heart, had died, and he wasn't willing to risk it happening again. He heaved a gusty sigh, knowing that his fears were irrational, but no less potent for that realization. He remembered too vividly the arrow that had taken Inger's life, and knew with sickening certainty that an Indian uprising was never far from happening. He remembered the riding accident that had left him without a mother for the third time, and knew that many of the horses on the Ponderosa were fiery and hard to manage. It was only too easy for another accident to claim the life of the new woman that had entered the family, and Adam wasn't about to jump into a close relationship with his cousin. No, he jerked his head up, face set. He would be polite, he would be courteous, but it would be a long time before his scarred heart would allow another family member to settle and be loved.

Anna nearly jumped out of her skin when a knock came at her door. She took a deep breath, then answered in a normal tone of voice, "Come in,"

Ben stepped into the room, and halted for a moment to stare. Anna blushed a little at the fatherly admiration she read in his eyes. Her mother had always worried that she was far too tall, and filled out her frame a little too well to be attractive in society, but Ben's eyes held an unexpected acceptance.

"My dear, you look beautiful!" Ben smiled, thinking that he had missed out in not having a daughter, "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, but I wanted to talk to you for a moment, if you don't mind."

"Of course not, Uncle Ben!" Anna replied, gesturing to a chair.

Ben sat and said, "Now, Anna, I know that it hasn't been all that long since your parents died, but I wanted to ask you something. Would you consider me your father, and Adam, Hoss and Joe your brothers? Even call me Pa, or Father, or whatever is comfortable for you. Since you're to be treated as one of the family, a daughter and sister is a much closer relationship than a niece and cousin."

Anna's breath caught in her throat. What he couldn't realize that just by being with her these few minutes, he had almost spent more time with her than her father ever had in one sitting. She missed the interaction she had had with her younger brothers, and had felt that a cousin could not take the same liberties of teasing and such. She yearned for a family again, but instinctively held back. She couldn't make herself a place in the family just by calling her uncle "Pa", she had to prove herself, to her cousins, and just as importantly, to herself.

She swallowed and answered, "Well, I don't know, Uncle Ben.."

Ben smiled," Just give it some thought, Anna. I want you to be as happy as you can be here."

Anna smiled back, and nodded. Ben stood and offered her his arm, "Come on, I think Hop Sing has supper ready."

Anna was aware of Joe's eyes on her when she reached for her water glass that evening at supper. He sat across from her, and had a clear view of her actions. She hesitated for a moment, deciding how to respond. If she allowed him to win, he would also get into trouble, Uncle Ben would surely be upset with Joe for pulling a trick on her first night. But she also knew that it was important for Joe to feel like he was winning. So she hesitated. With Hoss between her and her uncle, she decided the best course of action would be to simply make a face for Joe to see, then make no comment.

The first sip almost made her gag, Joe had gone a little overboard with the salt! Still, she controlled the urge, set the glass down, and made sure Joe was watching as she scrunched up her nose in disgust. What she hadn't noticed was that Adam, seated at the end of the table to her left, was watching her too.

Adam had watched the little drama of the "first dinner" with a basically hands-off approach. When Pa had come down stairs with Anna, all three boys had frozen for a moment to stare. She had taken the top layer of her hair and braided it, then twisted it into an adorable tiny bun, and left the rest of her ringlets to gather around her neck. Adam had recovered quickly, in time to sneak a glance at Hoss and Joe. Hoss almost made him laugh, his face was white, and there was a great deal of fear mixed in with the admiration. Joe was blinking hard, then opening his eyes wide. Adam decided to at least stop that, and whispered in his ear, "Joe, quit staring and go stand by your chair."

Joe blinked once more, then rolled his eyes at Adam and moved to his chair.

Adam had made one move that evening, deciding where Anna would sit. As he sat at the end, and Joe was to his left, the best place for Anna would be to his right. He felt a passing pity for Hoss, being seated next to Anna, but dismissed it. The conversation had been stilted for the first few minutes, a situation which Adam did little to alleviate, despite his father's looks and the pricks of his own conscience. He was acting childish, he knew, but he would pick up a conversation with Anna when he was good and ready, and at the table was not when he was ready.

Finally, Hoss made some comment about a fence that needed repairing, and asked Pa about it. Adam had been surprised that Hoss had been the one to take the initiative and take what must have been a very disconcerting scrutiny off of Anna and onto himself. But that was Hoss all over, always looking out for other people's feelings.

Adam had been amused by her reaction to the water. He hadn't known that Joe had had time to do anything to her food, or he would have done something. But now that the damage was done, he decided that his hands-off time was over. He would have a talk with Joe later. Joe would resent it, but in the end, would be thankful that Adam decided not to let Pa handle it, meaning a talking-to from Adam was annoying, but if Pa found out, he'd have trouble sitting down to breakfast. He watched Ben for a few moments, then saw his chance.

"Pa," Adam made his voice sound apologetic and slightly embarrassed, adding a twitch of his eyebrows, "You just spilled a little of that gravy on you." It was impromptu acting, and it had to be good. Otherwise Pa would be giving him a talking-to, one about table manners, something Adam would go great lengths to avoid. He let an apologetic smile play about his lips, and twitched his eyebrows again, his usual action when he was embarrassed.

Pa stared at him for a split second, then looked down at his shirt and pants. Adam seized the opportunity. In a quick, smooth motion, he traded glasses with Anna. Anna flashed him a surprised, but grateful smile, and Adam felt justified. He would do the same for a stranger, he told himself when his heart told him that he was already starting to treat this girl like a younger sister.

Hoss had been surprised that Adam of all people would have brought that droplet of gravy to Pa's attention, especially when they had company.....no, not company, but a woman at the table. But Pa had shown no signs of displeasure, surprise, perhaps, but not displeasure. In a way, Hoss was grateful for the break. He could return to his strangely neglected dinner. It was hard trying to keep Pa's attention focused on himself and not Anna. He knew Pa was trying to be attentive, but putting himself in her shoes, Hoss knew that attentiveness can be halfway frightening at times. What had he been talking to Pa about? He couldn't remember. Something about the fence, he didn't even remember where he had said the break was. Pa was looking at him expectantly, he had to continue the conversation. But Adam broke in, with a question that involved both Pa and Anna. Something about some actor back east. Didn't matter, so long as Hoss was no longer the one carrying the load alone. He looked at Adam, relief in his eyes, and caught a quick wink. He looked down at his plate, trying to suppress the grin that was tugging at his mouth. That Adam!

*******************

Anna lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It would soon be dawn, and her new family would be stirring. After weeks of sleeping on the stage or in way stations, her new bed had been heavenly ,but her internal clock had awakened her as always for a quiet time of reflection before the day began.

Anna tilted her head, thinking about the evening before. After Adam stepped in, the conversation hadn't flagged until it was time for bed. She grinned, perhaps he wouldn't accept her as family, but at least he wasn't openly hostile. In fact, they had discussed Shakespeare, the plays that had been running when she left the East, and the talents of the actors for several hours.

After they left the stage and moved on to her questions about the ranch, the rest of the family joined in. Hoss opened up and talked about the beauty of the Ponderosa, describing it with an eloquence few heard from him. Joe proudly added his knowledge of the horses, and Ben and Adam filled in where they missed something. She smiled, Hop Sing had even come in for a little while, and spent a few minutes discussing his cooking. She had offered to help him with the laundry and dishes, and while he had initially refused, he eventually gave in, as long as she only helped when she wanted to, and didn't over-work herself. She had to chuckle at the memory of his concern.

Suddenly, Anna couldn't bear to be indoors any longer. She wanted to be out in the fresh air, see the sunrise in a setting she had never seen, with no city to bar the view, and no pain from a night in a stage coach to mar the beauty of it. She jumped out of bed and quickly dressed in a plain dark green dress, then tiptoed out of her room. At least two distinct snores told her that the family was still asleep.

She stepped out into the crisp morning air, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Oh yes, she was certain that she had made the right decision by coming to live out here. She walked across the yard and leaned against the fence. The sun was tinting the skyline orange and pink. A hymn started in her throat, but she was not content to simply hum it. The beauty of creation around her begged to her to praise the Creator, so she began singing.

"For the beauty of the earth,

for the glory of the skies.

For the love which from our birth,

over and around us lies.

Lord of all to Thee we raise,

this our hymn of grateful praise." She smiled, then continued, her clear voice carrying over the expanse of land,

"For the beauty of each hour,

of the day and of the night,

hill and dale, and tree and flower,

sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all to Thee we raise,

this our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of ear and eye,

for the heart's and mind's delight

For the mystic harmony,

Linking sense to sound and sight,

Lord of all to Thee we raise,

this our hymn of grateful praise."

She jumped as she realized that the harmony she heard in her mind was being softly sung behind her, and a guitar was being played. She turned and saw Adam seated on the porch, still strumming out the melody.

He smiled, "Good morning. Your singing was so beautiful that I couldn't resist backing you up."

"I had no idea that you sang so well, either, Adam." Anna said, walking over and sitting next to him. Her face suddenly shadowed, and Adam was quick in following her train of thought. With a sympathetic smile, he started the next verse,

"For the joy of human love,

brother, sister, parent, child

friends on earth and friends above

For all gentle thoughts and mild,"

her voice, shaking slightly, had picked up the tune again, so he dropped to his harmony and they finished,

"Lord of all to Thee we raise,

this our hymn of grateful praise."

Anna blinked and looked to the eastern horizon. The sun was over the edge now, and the whole sky was a panorama of pinks and oranges.

"It's a wonderful view, isn't it?" she asked, turning back to Adam, whose fingers were still absently picking out the melody of the hymn.

"Beautiful," Adam agreed, "I come out here every morning I can to watch the sunrise. It sorta' gets my mind off my troubles."

Anna smiled, and felt a strengthened bond with her cousin, " Well, would it bother you if you have company to watch the sun come up in the morning?"

"No," Adam assured her, " Maybe we can sing together again."

"I'd like that."

And so the days fell into a comfortable routine. Each morning Anna and Adam sat on the porch and sang the sun up, then talked for a little while. Then they returned inside, Anna to fix her hair and make ready for the day, Adam to help pull Little Joe out of bed. Anna had learned on the second night that it was best to check her bed thoroughly before getting into it. Joe had definitely won that round, in her surprise she couldn't stifle the shriek that arose when she felt something smooth and slimy touch her foot. And then there was the time he switched the pitcher of warm water she had heated to take to her room with a pitcher of cold water, a rather unpleasant surprise. But with persistence, and a surprise or two of her own, short-sheeting his bed when she helped Hop Sing, and some salt in HIS water at dinner, she had finally won the boy's respect, and affection.

Hoss had become a dear companion. He had taken her on long walks around the ranch, not riding because she didn't have a split skirt, and she didn't want to ask Uncle Ben to go shopping for one. But when they were alone, he opened up, and let her see the real Hoss, behind the sheer size and shyness which were the first impressions of him. She could empathize, for a girl she was built more along his lines, and had often felt as awkward and out of place as he did.

She finally solved the problem of the split skirt. While helping Hop Sing with the laundry, she had been struck with an idea. One by one, she tried one the different sizes of jeans, Joe's were still too short, Hoss's far too long, and Uncle Ben's just a bit too large around the waist. Adam's were too long, but with a few turns of the cuff, they fit perfectly. Impishly, she went ahead and sneaked the black shirt too, if he had an uneven number of pants and shirts, then he would know that she had taken them, and that would ruin the surprise.

One afternoon, she asked Adam to take her riding. Adam raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to ask a question, then blushed and said, "Alright, go get ready and I'll saddle two horses."

Anna spun around and ran up the stairs. When she appeared in the corral, she had on Adam's jeans and black shirt, "All I'm missing is a hat. You don't have an extra, do you Adam?"

Adam stared, one thought running through his mind, what would Pa think about this?

"Now, Anna," Adam began, confused about how to deal with this issue. He didn't know, but he instinctively felt that Ben would prefer that Anna not wear men's clothes, "I'm not sure that that outfit is the best idea....Pa may not like you to wear that."

"Would he rather that I wear a skirt to ride astride?" Anna fired back, smiling, "Come on, Adam, I'm not going to start wearing this all the time, but for riding it's simply more practical and modest than..." she let her voice trail off, leaving Adam to imagine her trying to ride astride with one of her gowns on.

"Alright, but Pa's going to skin me alive when he hears about this." Adam replied, going to assist her to mount.

Once she was in the saddle, she settled in and smiled, “This is so much easier than riding side-saddle!”

Adam shared her grin, then swung up onto Sport, praying, "Please, PLEASE don't let Pa see us! Just let us wait until we can find out if he'll allow it or not!"

Anna and Adam rode for a while in silence, then Adam said, "Did you notice the first hymn they sang yesterday?"

Anna smiled, she had indeed been pleased when the first hymn in the service yesterday had been "For the Beauty of the Earth", "I remembered that first sunrise I saw here. That kind of beauty really is something to thank God for!"

Adam nodded, and they lapsed back into the comfortable silence. Anna was thinking, hard. She felt that she had begun to make her place in the family, but still felt treated a little like company, at least from Uncle Ben. She was trying to think of way to get him to treat her like another child to be corrected and lectured, and loved, just like his sons. She grinned, hadn't Adam mentioned that Pa wouldn't like the fact that she was wearing men's clothes? The situation had definite possibilities!

When they rode back to the barn, she dismounted and led her horse into its stall, then headed for the house while Adam was still taking off their tack.

"Anna!" he called after her, rather desperately, but she didn't listen.

Uncle Ben was sitting at his desk when she strode in. He glanced up, then looked again, a dangerous cloud on his face. But instead of yelling at her, he went to the door and called, "ADAM!"

Anna rolled her eyes, then covered up a grin. She suddenly realized how ridiculous it would sound to tell Uncle Ben that she wanted to be yelled at. But it was the truth.

Adam came in, and cast an annoyed look at Anna, his teeth set, "Now, Pa...."

"Just a minute, young man. I want to talk to you first." Ben's voice was low, but tight, and Adam bowed his head and gritted his teeth for the coming lecture.

"Uncle Ben, "Anna broke in. Ben turned, the angry look still on his face, but he forced it to go away and started to reply. Anna cut him off before he began, "Uncle Ben, I'm the one you should be lecturing. Adam didn't know that I took his clothes, and he tried to talk me out of wearing them. I wanted to go riding, and didn't have a split skirt," she blushed for a moment, Adam ducked his head and rubbed a hand over his mouth to hide the involuntary grin, "Adam told me that you probably wouldn't want me to wear men's clothes, but I did anyway. So, if you're going to yell at someone, yell at me." Anna took a deep breath, and tried to look defiant in spite of that fearsome expression on Ben's face.

She was fighting between looking defiant and wanting to either laugh or cringe. That glare was intimidating, even though she was more than asking for it, and he wasn't even really glaring at her. In fact, he looked like he was struggling not to laugh too, but the way those eyebrows drew together.....sometime when she deserved to be lectured she was going to want to hide from that look.

"Well, alright, Anna, I won't lecture you this time." For a moment, Anna wasn’t sure if she should be happy or upset about that fact, "I would prefer that you not wear men's clothes, and we'll see about getting you a riding skirt. Until then, I don't mind if you wear pants to go riding but nowhere else. Understood?"

"Yes, sir, Uncle Ben." Anna said quietly, feeling deflated. She had meant to start calling him Pa, but something in the way he handled the situation still made her feel like company, and she just couldn't bring herself to just yet.

Adam shot her another dark look and shoved his hat back on as he turned to go out the door. Anna sighed and went upstairs to change. She almost hated to, although her ingrained rules of propriety were shocked that she could even consider wearing pants at all. She gritted her teeth and stared at the mirror for a long moment. The brown eyes gazing back were burning, a mixture of fight and defeat in their depths. She raised an eyebrow and jerked upright, trying to force her suddenly boiling emotions to calm down. But with her, if emotions couldn't be controlled immediately, they had to be expressed. Seeking an outlet, she yanked the ribbon out of her braid and undid it, then grabbed her brush and treated her hair to an unmerciful brushing. After five minutes, she had only worked off a tiny bit of her anger, that had immediately been replaced with a sense of loss. She had thought she was ready to fully embrace this new family of hers, only to discover that, for all his offers, Uncle Ben wasn't ready to accept her.

With a frustrated groan, she threw the brush onto her bed and began changing. For some reason, tears stood in her eyes as she slid the dress over her head. She bit the inside of her lower lip, she refused to cry! But moments later she was laying on the bed, sobbing for a reason she couldn't fully explain.

Fifteen minutes later the storm finally subsided, leaving her exhausted, but relieved to have let it out. Absently, she began braiding her hair again, her thoughts far away. What would Tom say if he could see her now? Probably ask why she was so dissatisfied, she realized with a small grin. She could just see him, hands on hips, head cocked, staring at her in disbelief, "Anna, you've got everything you could possibly want, besides never getting into trouble about anything! Why on earth are you crying?"

A hearty laugh followed the image. She went and wet a cloth to sponge the redness from her eyes. Well, she would be content, for a while, at least. She would not try to purposely get into trouble, since apparently that wouldn't work anyway. She would be patient, and let matters run their course. She had only been there a few weeks, after all, there was no need for her to start stirring up trouble to fulfill a longing to...be yelled at? Another fit of laughter dispelled the last of her gloom.

Hoss knocked on the door, "Anna?"

"Oh, come in, Hoss!" Anna called, glancing quickly at the mirror to make sure her eyes weren't red.

"I hear you had a little trouble this afternoon, missy!" Hoss gently teased, using his nickname for her.

Anna rolled her eyes and sighed, "Can we go for a walk, Hoss?"

Hoss draped an arm over her shoulders, "Come on, I'm free until supper!"

Anna had found a confidant in her big cousin, and caught herself telling Hoss everything, even how she had wanted to be yelled at to feel like family.

Hoss grinned, "Well, if you're lookin' for a scolding, it may be a while before you'll get one from Pa. He's never raised his voice to a woman that I can remember!" Anna sighed softly, and Hoss continued, "Now, if you wanted Adam to yell at you...I figure you could rile him up pretty good, considering the way he looked in the barn a minute ago!"

"Oh, Hoss!" Anna said in mock annoyance, then gave him a spontaneous hug, "You're wonderful, you know that?"

Hoss blushed and froze for a moment, then said haltingly, "Well, I cain't say that I've ever been told so just like that, missy!"

"Well, if it comes to feeling like family, you're the one who makes me feel the most like a sister, and I can think of you like the best brother a girl could have!" Anna declared, although her heart constricted and thought, "Except one..."

Hoss blushed again, but overcame his first reaction and put his arm around her for a quick squeeze, "And I think you're just about the sweetest sister a man could ask for!"

*****************

Ben decided to take the whole family into town the next day. This time, Adam chose to ride Sport, so only Ben and Anna occupied the surrey. This chafed slightly, made her feel that they thought she was less than capable of a long ride on horseback. She knew that, if nothing else, it wasn't the whole reason she was sitting in the surrey while her cousins rode alongside, but it irked.

Once they reached the town, she stood patiently aside while Ben conferred with his sons, another snub, she thought. Then Ben turned to her, a stern expression on his face, "Anna, Hoss and Adam will take you to the seamstress's house, Joe and I have to go pay a visit to his teacher."

Anna managed to hold back her smile until he had walked away with his hand on the neck of a most unwilling Joe. Then Adam and Hoss turned to her, and they were fighting grins too. That was the final straw, all three of them started to chuckle, then laugh outright.

Adam regained control of himself while Hoss and Anna were still chortling, " Joe got into a fight last week at school and the teacher sent a note home with him. He conveniently forgot to tell Pa about it, but Hop Sing found it last night in a pair of his pants. Neither one of them was very happy this morning!"

They walked the few feet to the seamstress's house in a silence that was a neccessity for Anna to regain her composure before meeting the seamstress.

Gloria Putnam took over the conversation from the moment the boys said good morning to her. She swept Anna inside, and shooed Hoss and Adam out before Anna had quite collected her wits. With understanding grins, the boys departed.

"Well, now, Miss Cartwright, what do you need made?" Gloria actually paused long enough for Anna to answer that question.

"Riding clothes, I'm afraid I don't have any."

"Well, I think I may even have a set made up, girl in town ordered a set, then up and broke her horse's leg the next day. Refuses to go riding now, cancelled the order for her clothes too."

"How terrible!" Anna managed to insert.

"Well, she'll have to move on, in this country you absolutely need a good horse and a gun, and that's a fact!"

Anna froze, "You mean you own a gun...you shoot?"

"Of course! Out here, especially with the mine so close, a gun is a constant companion. Now come on, I want to get your measurements."

Adam couldn't resist remarking as they walked away, "I hope Gloria doesn't frighten Anna! She's a bit overpowering, isn't she?"

"Oh, I don't know, "Hoss replied, "I think Anna can pretty well take care of herself!"

He smiled suddenly, remembering something she had told him about her conversation with Adam, "Hey, Adam, I got an idea."

"What about?" Adam asked, stopping to face his brother.

"Oh...never mind. Listen, can I meet you somewhere in a little while?"

"Hoss, what are you up to?" Adam crossed his arms, leaned back against the wall and waited.

"I got some shoppin' to do, I'll meet you back at the surrey in half an hour. Then we can see if Anna's ready to leave Miss Gloria's or not."

With that, Hoss walked away, leaving Adam to uncross his arms and push away from the building, shaking his head at his brother. "Hoss, SHOPPING?" he muttered incredulously.

Hoss was almost wishing that he had decided to tell Adam about his scheme. But Adam would probably disapprove of getting Anna a hat like his, just as he had frowned on her decision to wear pants to go riding. Hoss had rather agreed with Anna on that point, it was sure gutsy of her, anyway. No, it was best to go alone. But there seemed to be millions of hats, at least, more than he had expected the store to have. He grinned and fingered one made much like his own, the mental image of Anna in it made him want to laugh. Well, he had half an hour, he'd have to start looking.

*******************

Anna wasn't sure how Gloria did it. Somehow, she managed to get her measurements, figure how much the set of clothes she had needed to be let out, started ripping out seams and re-sewing them, and continue talking, even with her mouth full of pins. And somehow, Anna had told her practically everything about herself, although she had little recollection of saying anything.

"Well, dearie, the Cartwrights are a fine set of men, and you're right blessed that Ben agreed to take you in!" Gloria said as she turned the skirt to keep sewing.

"Yes, I know, but I can't help but feel that I'm just a visitor to them, company, not really family."

Gloria paused, and looked at her, candid scrutiny in her expression, "Anna, Ben, Adam, Hoss, and even Little Joe have all seen terrible sorrow in their lifetime. They've learned the hard way that life is fragile, and over quickly. Ben has lost three wives, Adam two mothers that he knew, his own mother died giving birth to him. Hoss was dragged along in a wagon train with only Adam and Ben to take care of him. Joe's mother died when he was just old enough to start needing her as a guiding force. They've had just the four of them for years, and when someone new does come along, they are always just passing through. Some things take time, Anna girl, don't be too impatient with them."

Anna's throat was tight, and tears shone in her eyes. She bit her lip, willing them back, but one fell from each brown eye when she spoke, "Oh, Gloria, thank you. I didn't know all that, I just thought Uncle Ben's wife died sometime in the past...I didn't know!" she broke down into real tears then, but the cloudburst was brief.

Gloria smiled at her as the tears ceased to flow, "Good girl, you're a Cartwright, same as they are. Just give them time and reason to see that!"

Anna smiled and lifted her chin a little and Gloria laughed, "That's my girl!! Now, tell me a bit about your life back East, and this brother of yours...what was his name?"

Anna's tentative smile got a little bigger, "Which one? Tom is-was" she paused for a moment, then gritted her teeth and continued, "the next oldest, he was 17 when he died in the epidemic with my parents. He and I were always the best of friends. He understood my frustrations with being a proper young lady all the time, and I was the one he came to when he was in a fix. " Another wayward tear slid down her face, but she determinedly kept talking, "You see, I had the fever too, and Tom was the one who nursed me. He caught it next, and died within a week." The tears she thought were frozen slowly began to fall again beneath the sympathetic gaze of the strangely silent seamstress. But she bit her lip and closed her eyes, a silent prayer for strength winging upward, and willed the tears to cease. After a moment, she opened her eyes and said calmly, "The next brother in line is Jesse, he will be 12 in a few months. He and my next brother, Daniel, who turned 8 right before I left home, were taken in by my mother's brother. They needed children, they said. "a slight bitter tone entered her voice, a sardonic lift to her lips, "What they didn't need was a 20 year-old young lady who refused to marry their best friend's son, and they made sure I was aware of the reason they couldn't take all three of us in."

She paused, why was she telling all this to this woman she hardly knew? But a glance at Gloria's kindly face and she knew that she had found a woman who was often a sympathetic ear to those in need.

She continued quickly, "My baby brother, Jonathon, died just before his 4th birthday. Tom and I had to handle the funeral because my mother was hysterical, and both she and Father was beginning to come down with symptoms of the fever. I was so glad Tom was there, I couldn't have handled it alone."

"Tom sounds like he was a fine young man." Gloria interjected quietly.

Another reminiscent smile began on her trembling lips, "Oh, he had his wild side. In fact, he was a great deal like Little Joe when Tom was that age. Playing pranks, getting into trouble, and almost always managing to somehow scheme a way out of it."

Anna left Gloria's house with a lighter heart, and a package under her arm, with the promise of at least one more outfit to come. She glanced around for a sign of her uncle or cousins but saw only strangers. But she recognized the horses that were tied up next to the surrey, and made her way over to them.

Anna patted each of the horses in turn, admiring the sleek beauty of them all. She also stroked the horses hitched to the surrey, speaking to them softly. As she stood there, she saw two figures out of the corner of her eye, heading toward her. She turned, expecting the Cartwrights, and found two strangers. They were obviously quite drunk, they could hardly walk.

"Howdy, ma'am, " one of them slurred, "I doan' believe I've met you, have I?"

Anna tightened her grasp on the horse's bridle and replied, "No, you have not."

"Well, then, "the other man broke in, stumbling a step closer, "Let's get ourselves acquainted!"

Anna's heart raced, she could read all too easily the looks in the men's eyes. She glanced around quickly, praying for a glimpse of her uncle or cousins. But they were nowhere in sight.

The first man stepped closer too, "Come on, honey, why don't you jest step into the saloon with us and have a drink?"Anna stiffened, a flash of fear bathing her face in a cold sweat. There was no help in sight. Anna took a deep breath and returned to petting the horse, hoping the men would lose interest and leave.

But one of them swayed up and grabbed her left arm, "Now, when a gentleman offers you a drink, you should accept it!" His face was so close that she could smell the liquor on his breath as he slurred out the words.

Anna's right hand came up and she dealt the man a stinging slap on the cheek, "Let go of me!"

The man stumbled backwards and almost fell, but he righted himself and both he and his companion turned on Anna, drunken rage written on their faces.

Hoss stepped from the mercantile store, a black hat in his right hand. It was perfect, he decided, studying it again. It was a twin of Adam's, except it boasted a brown leather band instead of a studded one. That way there would be no confusion about whose hat was whose.

Hoss bit his lip, he was a good 15 minutes overdue to meet Adam, and he had a feeling that his brother's ire would only be further aroused when he found out what Hoss had been doing with his time. Then, an impish grin spread across his face, Adam could think what he liked, Hoss was bigger and stronger anyway! Whistling, he began to cross the street to the surrey, expecting to see Adam's dark figure waiting for him. Instead, he saw Anna struggling with two men. The hat dropped from his hand as he grabbed his gun and ran forward.

"Hey you, "his voice was suddenly menacing, "let go of the lady."

The men turned, one with his hand still on Anna's arm, "We're jest gettin' acquainted, mister..." he never finished his sentence.

Adam had materialized out of nowhere, his gun cocked and pointed at the drunkard, "I think you've gotten acquainted enough, now let her go."

"What's she to you?" the man asked, even as his loosened his hold on Anna. Anna slapped his hand off of her, fire in her eyes.

"She my sister." Hoss declared, motioning with his pistol, "Now you two skunks just get yourselves out of here."

The two men looked at the guns, then back at Anna. Her narrowed eyes showed no fear, only anger and fight. They shrugged and stumbled away, calling back, "No cause to get sore, ya' know!"

Adam followed them across the street, his gun still trained on them. Anna collapsed against Hoss's comforting bulk for a moment, the only indication of her fear was the trembling that she couldn't will away just yet.

"Oh, Hoss, thank God you came when you did!" she whispered as her heart rate returned to normal.

Hoss rubbed her back gently, feeling the tremors subside, "I'm thankful to Him myself, missy. I shoulda' been here sooner."

Anna straightened, and looked up at him, actually smiling, "You and Adam make quite a team, did you plan that?"

"No, we didn't, but it sure worked out just right." Hoss agreed.

Adam walked up to them, shoving his gun back into his holster in an action Anna would have attributed solely to anger, if she hadn't seen his face. The anger was there, a cold rage that was frightening to see, but there was something else. Adam was terrified. Anna could see it in his eyes, the trembling of his lips despite the set of his jaw.

"Thank you, Adam." she said softly.

Adam started slightly when she spoke, and his face dropped every vestige of emotion, "Are you alright?"

This time, both Hoss and Anna jumped, the words had come out with a sharp bite to them. Hoss frowned slightly at Adam, but something in that carefully guarded expression told him now was not the time. He turned and saw Anna's hat still laying in the middle of the street, and turned to go get it.

Anna's eyes stayed trained on Adam's face, a compassion he didn't want to see evident in their concerned gaze. She nodded, "Yes, I'm fine, thanks to you and Hoss."

"I was supposed to meet Hoss at the surrey almost 20 minutes ago," Adam began, then halted quickly as Hoss walked back up.

He smiled at Anna, holding the hat behind his back, "You know, you sure do have a lot of spunk, missy, I figured you'd be a sobbin' mess!"

Anna smiled faintly, "You don't think I went to finishing school for four years and didn't learn how to take any situation in stride, do you?"

A glance at the two brothers told her that the reminder of her former sheltered life had been a mistake, even if she had applied some of her training on composure to steady herself after the ordeal.

Hoss brought the hat out, "Here, I figured it's about time you had one of these too."

Anna took the hat and looked it over with pleasure.

Hoss turned to Adam, "Hey, I was late to meet you, where were you?" The question was an innocent one, but Adam stiffened as if he was being accused.

"I went looking for you. I figured you might be down at the livery since they've got that dog and her litter of pups down there now. I was on my way back when I saw those two men and Anna..." his voice trailed off, and Anna suddenly understood. Adam blamed himself for not being there, and he would take it far more seriously than Hoss. Hoss would feel guilty, but his focus would be that things had worked out for the best. Adam would stew over the fact that he might have been able to prevent the scene from happening at all.

Before Anna could say anything, Ben walked up with Joe. "Well, how did things go with Ms. Gloria?" Ben asked as they entered the group.

"Fine, she's so nice!" Anna said, casting a warning glance at Adam and Hoss to keep quiet about their little adventure. Adam raised his eyebrow in agreement, Hoss screwed up his mouth, but nodded.

Ben was preoccupied and missed the little exchange, "Well, I'm glad you met her, she'd make you a good friend."

"Yes, I hope so." Anna agreed, accepting Ben's hand to help her into the surrey.

Joe went to his pony, and Anna asked, "Is he alright?"

Ben smiled as he gathered the reins, " Yes, actually he'll feel better now that it's out and over with. He wasn't made to keep secrets. Now that he's been through the meeting with his teacher, and he's already had his punishment from me early this morning, he'll probably be all vim and vigor as always."

Anna smiled, "I'm glad, when I was a child, if I got reprimanded, it took me days to get over it. Thankfully, I outgrew that."

"Adam and Hoss were like that, Adam more than Hoss, "Ben reminisced as they drove out of town, the boys following on their horses, "He'd walk around with his head hanging for days, used to break my heart to see it. It was like he felt he'd let me down..."he broke off, smiling, "But you don't want to hear about that. Did Gloria say how long it would be before she finished the clothes?"

Anna supplied the answer, but her mind was on what had just passed between her and Ben. It fit Adam's character to take things more seriously than necessary, she decided. If only there was a way to keep him from feeling that it was his fault.

Hoss slowed Chubb's gait so he came alongside Adam, "Adam, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Adam repeated sharply, then sighed, "Sorry, Hoss, I didn't mean to snap at you. How can you be so calm about it? Who knows what might have happened to Anna if you hadn't come up when you did? And if I had just stayed there, it wouldn't have happened..."

"Now, Adam, there's no sense in whipping yourself over that...rightfully I guess the blame's mine, for not showing up on time. Just remember that you helped get her out of that mess too."

"Yeah," Adam said and looked ahead, the tone of his voice indicating that, for him, it wasn't enough.

The reaction finally came, as Anna had known it would. She could seal off her terror as long as others were around and she could focus on them, but that night as she lay in bed, the tremors came back. It was all too easy for her to imagine what might have happened, she had been too helpless. Helplessness was not something Anna dealt with very well, she had been helpless to stop the deaths of her family members, and had vowed to never feel that way again.

She shook her head and tried to focus on how peaceful the evening at home had been, the bantering around the table over Joe's attempt to hide the note. And the quiet time afterwards when Adam and Ben picked up their books, Joe took advantage of the fading sunlight for some time with his pony, and she and Hoss sat and quietly talked. It was perfect, she couldn't have been more content. But now, in the darkness that was suddenly smothering, she knew something had to change. She was surrounded by men who would do anything to protect her, but, as today proved, they couldn't always be there.

She rolled over with a sigh. She was bone weary, and could only hope that dreams wouldn't interfere with her rest. She needed to have a talk with Pa tomorrow, she decided as she drifted off, her exhausted mind not fully registering the title she had automatically given her uncle.

Joe crept from his bed to the door. After the day's events, he was too keyed-up to sleep. Besides, his punishment from Pa hadn't mixed too well with the long horse-back ride, he was sore. Maybe, if he could just make it past Pa's room and Adam's, he could get downstairs and sneak something from the kitchen. He knew from unpleasant experience that his brother, while normally a heavy sleeper, seemed to take malicious delight in hearing the floor creak when Joe sneaked out.

A few cautious steps, and he had reached Pa's door. A heavy snore told him he was safe from discovery in that quarter. He cautiously slid out his left foot, wincing at the slight creak as he put his weight down. There was no snore coming from Adam's room, a fact that bothered him. He hesitated, then in a quick, lithe movement, propelled himself past the door, but he made a *thump* when he landed. He froze, waiting for motion from within Adam's room. What he heard was the muffled sound of crying, coming from the door across the hall, Anna's room!

The struggle between the trip to the kitchen and a knock on Anna's door was only a split-second battle. But there was no response to his soft tap. So he gently pushed the door open. Anna lay in bed, her face buried in her pillow, her shoulders shaking with the sobs. Joe shut the door quietly, he didn't want to wake everyone up, and asked in a whisper, "Anna?"

Anna jerked her face up with a gasp, "Oh, Joe!" she gave an attempt at a smile, her breath still catching slightly, "did I wake you up?"

Joe grinned, "Me?" he whispered incredulously, "Naw, I was sneakin' down to the kitchen to have a midnight snack. I heard you on my way down the hall..."he paused, suddenly embarrassed, then his quick smile came back and he finished with hardly a break, "and decided to ask if you wanted to have some too."

Anna bit her lip to keep down a too-loud chuckle. Once she conquered it, she said, "Of course! You'll have to help me maneuver around in the dark, though. I'm not too good at sneaking out. I always stub my toe or trip over something and give myself away."

Joe patted her shoulder, excitement growing in his eyes, "You just wait here, I'll bring it up to you."

Before she could protest, he had crept out of the door and was gone. She had to shake her head and smile, Joe somehow knew exactly what she had needed just then, companionship, and a smile. The nightmares had come, more frightening than she had anticipated. Strangely, they had little violence toward herself. The men drew before Hoss did and shot him, then turned and did the same to Adam as he walked up. The shots brought Ben and Joe running straight into the death trap, and Anna would awaken with a scream trembling on her lips. This had happened several times, the same dream, and Anna had finally succumbed to the fright and began to cry. The idea that she might have been the cause of the death- or at the very least, injury- of one of her cousins or uncle was too close to a possible reality. Anna expected her tears to start again, but they didn't, only a cold empty feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach. She reviewed the situation, there would have been no way for her to help or retaliate had the worst happened.

”I need to learn to shoot.”

The thought was unexpected, so much so that she almost dismissed it immediately. It was certainly an intriguing idea, she decided, gnawing her lip. Then she quickly got up and found her robe, brushing notion aside for the moment. She and Joe were going to have their midnight snack in style!

Down in the kitchen, Joe was doing his best to load a tray without making much noise, a nearly impossible feat. He had already averted a near catastrophe with the tray by catching it inches from the floor, and getting plates and glasses was a lesson in agility. He had put two glasses and a small pitcher of milk Hop Sing always kept for just such midnight raids. He added a plate heaped with the powdered doughnuts Hop Sing had made just that evening, and another with cookies. He eyed the tray worriedly, could he make it all the way to Anna's room without spilling anything? Joe bit his lip and got a good grip on the tray, and began his careful trek.

He muttered his directions to himself as he walked, "Watch for the chairs when you come out of the kitchen, don't trip!"

"Stay close to the wall, don't go too far left or you'll hit the settee. Okay, two more steps, then turn to get to the stairs."

Amazingly he made it to Anna's door without catastrophe, and Anna was waiting for him. She had turned the lamp on low, and Joe stared for a moment. She had dragged her flat-top trunk over near the lamp, then taken the quilts off her bed and made two cozy nests on either side of the trunk. Joe set the tray down, then promptly collapsed into the quilts with a giggle that was fortunately muffled.

Anna sat down on her side, smiling, "My goodness, Joe, what a feast! How on earth did you carry this all the way from the kitchen?"

"Very carefully." Joe replied, the twinkle in his eye and smile twitching around his lips ruining the solemn tone.

Anna covered her mouth with her hand to hide an errant chuckle. Joe was just the antidote she had needed for those dreams, she decided, as she watched him stuff an entire doughnut into his mouth, the powder covering his face. This was going to be fun.

"So," Anna said around a cookie, enjoying talking with her mouth full, "Tell me about this fight you had."

Joe grimaced into his milk. “I don't want another lecture now!” he thought with a flash of annoyance.

"Come on, now, Joe," Anna said, "Don't make me tickle you to get it out!" he nearly choked on his milk at the suggestion, and she got up to prove her point, "Besides that would wake everyone up and ruin our party...but if you really want me to, I'll-"

Joe considered his options hastily, and decided he'd rather finish his snack with a lecture from Anna, than be tickled and have both his brothers and his father descending on him for waking them up at that hour.

"Alright, I'll tell you." he grudgingly said, and Anna sat back down, grabbing another cookie.

"Smart choice!" she commented, again with her mouth full.

Joe screwed up his mouth, fidgeted with the quilt he was sitting on, then finally sighed, "It was because my voice is cracking." a break in the word "cracking" confirmed the statement.

Anna controlled the urge to smile, just sat and waited for him to continue.

Joe looked up in surprise, Hoss would have laughed, Adam would have lectured him about losing his temper because of teasing, Pa would have chuckled a little, then given him a talking-to. He wasn't expecting the chance to continue his explanation. He smiled a little. I could use her as an ally sometime! he thought as he continued his story.

"Billy Gregson, he's the school bully, he's the one who picked the fight with me. The problem is, his voice is cracking too, and he hates it because some of the other boys make fun of him. A couple of boys had been going at him for a while, and he swung at them. I jumped in to stop him..." Anna raised her eyebrows at this, and Joe gave an explanatory shrug," I don't mind a good fight, but when the teacher's watching, all that happens is we get into trouble. I just wanted them to wait until after school. Well, when I yelled at them to stop, my voice cracked. Billy started laughing, and then all three of them started teasing me. I told them to meet me after school, and started to walk away. Then Billy tripped me." Joe gave another shrug, "And that's how the fight happened."

"Well, I think that you did very well, Joe!" Anna's comment surprised him.

"Huh?" he couldn't resist asking. After all, she was an adult!

"You tried to stop a fight, even walked away from those boys taunting you, you're learning to control your temper, Joe." Anna's praise was sincere, and Joe beamed.

"Besides," she added, "You must be pretty handy with your fists, you didn't get any bruises or anything to tip any of us off that you had been in a fight."

"Teacher broke it up before we really had a chance to get going."

"Speaking of school, shouldn't you be in bed?" Anna asked reluctantly.

"No, remember? We finished this term three days ago!" Joe smiled with relief in remembering.

Understanding dawned in Anna's eyes, "Ah, so that's why you hid the note."

Joe furrowed his brow quizzically.

"If you had many more days of school, then the teacher would have asked why your father never showed up...since school was almost out you figured you might be able to sneak this one by." Anna's direct gaze met Joe's embarrassed eyes.

"Yeah," he admitted sheepishly, "I wouldn't mind so much if telling Pa didn't mean that Adam and Hoss find out too. It's getting it four times when I get in trouble at school, once from the teacher, and once from each of them."

Anna's eyes softened, "Well, your brothers mean well, believe me."

Joe raised his eyebrows, "Right!" he said shortly.

"Honestly, Joe! I used to be the same way with my younger brother, Tom. If he got in trouble at school, after Mother lectured him and Father gave him the strap, I worked him over good myself. Tom said he dreaded my lecture more than Father's belt!" Joe laughed softly, remembering belatedly that others were sleeping.

"I bet you could give Adam a run for his money in the lecturing department!" he speculated.

"They only do it because they care, Joe." Anna told him gently.

They were silent for a few minutes, munching on the last of the doughnuts and cookies.

"Well, you'd better get yourself back in bed, little brother," Anna's hand tousling Joe's hair froze as she realized the title she had just given him.

But Joe didn't seem to notice, he turned and gave her a quick hug, "Thanks, Anna, this was fun." he paused shyly, then gave her a harder hug, "I'm glad you came to live with us!"

She smiled, "So am I, Joe!"

When Anna awoke just before dawn, it was with a groan. The midnight party had been fun, but now she was going to pay for it. She considered going back to sleep, but then she would more than likely sleep half the morning away, and besides, Adam would be waiting outside for her. Another groan as she tore herself out from under the quilts. This was definitely going to be an interesting day.

As she stumbled outside, Adam's amused chuckle reached her ears. She frowned at him, then had to consider how she had looked when she had thrown a glance at the mirror on her way out the door. Her hair, always a mess in the morning, had been pulled back at the nape of her neck, and wisps had escaped in a rather unbecoming way, besides the rather obvious knots in the hair that was in the ribbon. Her eyes were puffy, and she knew she looked awful.

" Well, aren't you a gentleman this morning?" she asked, careful to hide her grumpiness behind mock irritation.

"I'm sorry, Anna," Adam apologized, the chuckle still in his voice, "I just wasn't expecting you to look quite so...wild this morning."

"I'm rather tired this morning," Anna tried to chose her words carefully.

"Did you sleep alright after the 'incident' yesterday?" Teasing gone, Adam was all concern.

"Oh, I suppose so, I was just exhausted and needed more sleep than normal, I guess." Anna said lightly.

Adam cocked an eyebrow at her, guarding his expression. But she raised her chin, and told him in no uncertain terms with a glance that the discussion was closed. With a sigh, he picked up his guitar.

Anna stumbled back into her room after the time with Adam, and cast a longing glance at her still tousled bed. She had managed to convince Adam to let Little Joe sleep a little late this morning, somehow succeeding without having to give away their midnight snack.

She gave a sigh that turned into a yawn, and picked up her hairbrush. Her hair was finally long enough to pin up without much trouble, but the tangles were fierce this morning, and in her present mood, taking care of her hair was going to put her close to tantrum temper. She sighed, gritted her teeth, and started to brush.

The morning had gone from bad to worse, Anna realized miserably as she took a pile of clean shirts to their respective rooms. She had nearly dropped off during breakfast, almost snapped Hoss's head off when he asked a friendly question, and to top it off, had scalded her mouth with an unhealthy swig of too hot coffee. After breakfast, she had apologized to Hoss, who accepted it with a smile, but the next moment she bit her tongue trying to keep down an angry retort to a teasing remark from Adam, which was largely unsuccessful as another, only slightly less abrasive remark DID come out. The problem was that she bit too hard, and now besides having a burnt mouth, she also had a sore tongue. Then she brushed Joe off when he came up to her to ask her something, and had somehow offended Hop Sing in helping him with the laundry. She sighed, laying Hoss's shirts on his bed. The only person she hadn't hurt so far today was Ben, and the way she was going, that would happen before noon.

*******************

Hoss wrinkled his nose against the smell as he mucked out the stalls in the barn, but his mind wasn't on the chore. He was worried about Anna. He readily forgave the sharp words, but the fact that they had even been spoken concerned him. Anna wasn't like that, he knew. He bit his lip, then grimaced as he tasted the manure smell on his skin. He wondered if something had happened before he had arrived, had the men hurt Anna? What had been said before he and Adam had shooed the skunks away? He began to shovel harder, until a sniffle stopped him. He leaned the shovel against the wall and peeked out of the stall.

Joe sat in the corner next to a stack of hay, knuckling at his cheeks fiercely.

Hoss walked over and crouched next to his brother, "Hey now, Short Shanks, what's all this about?" he asked softly.

Joe dug his knuckles across his face again and replied, "Nuthin!" He clamped his mouth shut as his voice squeaked on the end of the word.

Hoss pursed his lips to keep down a smile, "Come on now, Joe, out with it!"

Joe sucked his breath in and said, "I was gonna' ask Anna if she wanted to go fishing with me since Pa gave me the day off. But she snapped at me and walked away. I thought we were friends!" Joe's lack of sleep was intensifying the snub, and the extra 15 minutes Adam had conceded hadn't helped much. He knew it was silly to cry, but he was always the one who cried easily. He tightened his jaw and waited for Hoss's response.

Hoss was worrying again. While Anna might snap a little, it wasn't like her to walk away from Joe or anyone like that. Something was definitely wrong.

"Well, I tell you what, Short Shanks," he said, pushing the troubling thoughts aside to deal with his brother, "If you'll grab that other shovel and help me for a little bit, I'll go fishin' with you, alright?"

Joe brightened, and jumped to his feet, then stopped short when he saw what Hoss had been doing.

"Well..." he hesitated, of all jobs, he HATED mucking out the stalls. "Grab that shovel, boy!" Hoss commanded playfully, ruffling Joe's hair on his way back into the stall.

When Hoss and Joe up to the house after an afternoon of fishing, the first thing that greeted their ears was the sound of angry voices inside. They dismounted, looking at each other in confusion, and Adam left his post by the door and came to greet them.

"I wouldn't go inside just now, if you know what's good for you." he cautioned, wincing as Ben's voice rose again. They couldn't distinguish the words, but they all recognized the tone.

"Don't tell that he's yellin' at ANNA like that!" Hoss exclaimed.

Adam put a hand on his chest to stop his brother's advance, nodding slowly.

"Let's just say that this one she brought on herself."

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, fierce loyalty springing back up for his midnight companion.

"I walked in on her while she was saddling her horse..." Adam grimaced in remembrance.

He had walked in and asked casually, "And where do you think you're going?"

Brown sparks had flown from her eyes, "For a ride, if it's not too much to ask. I'd like some time to be alone."

"Well, you're not going anywhere on that horse without one of us with you." Adam hated the smug way it came out, but he couldn't call the words back.

"And just why not?" The bite in the words rather surprised him.

"Two reasons." Common sense told him he should be handling this differently, but the stinging retorts had gotten his blood up, and his replies were fast becoming just as sharp, "One, it's too dangerous for a woman to be riding alone: and two, you're upset and shouldn't be allowed to ride alone."

The scorching look she threw him confirmed that he was handling this wrong.

"Well, then, why don't you teach me how to shoot so I can protect myself and not have to worry about having nursemaids to take me everywhere." Anna visibly calmed herself down as she spoke.

Adam tried to keep down the chuckle, but part of it escaped, "I wouldn't trust a gun within ten feet of you in that mood. Besides, I have a feeling that Pa may not approve."

"...Anna was halfway to the house before I realized it, and by the time I got there, the conversation was a debate. I decided to wait out here." Adam concluded.

Hoss and Joe looked at each other in bewilderment, then winced as Anna's voice came to them. She didn't sound angry as much as frustrated, but none of the boys wanted to see Pa's reaction to that tone of voice.

Inside, Anna took a deep breath and, for the twentieth time, let it out with a prayer for patience underneath. She knew that she was far from being calm and rational, and that she should wait until another time, but since it had been started, she would see it through to the end.

"Now, look, Anna," Ben's voice was carefully controlled, "Using a gun is a responsibility that you shouldn't ever have to have. Adam, and Hoss, and even Joe when he gets his own pistol, and I are here to protect you. Surely you can see there's no need for you to learn how to shoot."

"But there will be times when you aren't around, " Anna explained desperately, "I don't want to be helpless!"

Ben sighed, "Name me a time when you would be helpless when we wouldn't be around!"

His voice rose in volume with each word, carrying clearly to the boys outside. Hoss and Adam exchanged glances over Joe's head and nodded. They headed for the door, Joe on their heels.

Anna bit her lip, she didn't want to tell Ben about what had happened in town, but how else would she explain?

"There will be times!" she insisted stubbornly, deciding to keep her mouth shut, "Besides, Miss Gloria knows how to shoot!"

Ben sighed, "Anna, Gloria has had to fend for herself for over ten years now. She's capable, and independent, but she's also become hardened and somewhat cynical at times. I don't want that to happen to you. Like I said, we're here to protect you if there's a need, there's no call..."

Adam interrupted from the doorway, "Actually, Pa, there is a call." Anna's head snapped to face him, she tried to discreetly shake her head. But he ignored her. Between the two of them, Hoss and Adam explained the incident in town.

Ben stared at her in disbelief. Joe spoke up, fists balled, "Just let them try that again, I'll knock them flat!"

A faint smile touched the faces of everyone else in the room, then Hoss put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder as a warning to keep quiet.

Ben's shoulders were hunched, he was pacing slightly, "Why in thunder didn't you tell me about this?" he roared finally, turning on his heel as he did so.

Anna gave a ghost of a smile to her uncle's back, "Because I didn't want you to worry, Pa."

Three heads swiveled toward her, shock registering on the brothers' faces. Ben was still muttering to himself and it was several long moments before he stiffened and turned.

"What?" he asked quietly.

Anna ran over and put her arms around him, "That's right, Pa, I didn't want you to have to worry about your only daughter!"

Ben's lips quivered slightly as he put his arms around her, blinking back tears.

"Well, " he said huskily, pulling away with his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye, "I'm going to start doing a lot more when you start learning to shoot!"

Anna smiled, "With four good teachers, what could go wrong?"

Ben tugged her into another embrace, then gently released her. She turned to her brothers.

All three wore huge smiles. She went to Adam, arms crossed, "Weren't you the one who said you wouldn't trust me within ten feet of a gun?"

Adam chuckled, "Well, I changed my mind."

Anna sobered, "What changed it?"

Adam put a hand on her shoulder, "I decided that I wouldn't always be there to keep you out of trouble, and this is one Cartwright woman that's here to stay, if I have anything to say about it!"

Anna gave him a hug. Yes, it felt right. She was home, and she was here to stay.